INCLUDING CHILDREN IN THE CEREMONY

Here are some ideas for including children. Some of these mention one child or more than one, and some involve only one partner being a parent, or both. The wording can easily be changed based on your situation.

Add child to the Greeting

On behalf of the Groom and Bride, I would like to thank all of you for being here to share in their special day. This moment in time is truly a cause for joyous celebration, for we are here to witness not only the beginning of a new marriage, but also the beginning of a new family. Today, John and Jane will be united in marriage, and Joey will be entering this new family to make it complete.

Optionally added to the above: With that in mind, are you ready to make a commitment to this marriage and family today? (Bride, Groom, and child answer Yes.)

Add a sentence to the Declaration of Intentions about the child

John, do you take Jane to be your wife, to live together in marriage, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live? And do you promise to be a father (or parent) to Joey, and love him as your own? Groom says I do.

Jane, do you take John to be your husband, to live together in marriage, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live? And do you promise to welcome him as a loving father (or parent) to Joey? Bride says I do.

Child gives their blessing to the marriage (after Bride/Groom say I Do).

Today we witness not only the beginning of a new marriage, but also the beginning of a new family. Joey, do you give your blessing to this marriage and this family? Child says I do.

Replace the traditional vows with more family-oriented ones.

Groom would say ….

I, John, choose you, Jane,
and Joey, to be my family.
I promise to honour & respect you,
and to provide for you to the best of my ability.
I promise to make our home a haven,
where trust, love, and laughter are abundant.
I make these promises lovingly, and freely,
and vow to honour them all the days of my life.

Bride would say ….

I, Jane, choose you, John,
to complete our family.
I promise to honour & respect you,
and to provide for you to the best of my ability.
I promise to make our home a haven,
where trust, love, and laughter are abundant.
I make these promises lovingly, and freely,
and vow to honour them all the days of my life.

-OR-

Each recites:

I love you (Bride/Groom), and I love (Child) [as my very own.] Today, as we become husband and wife, we also will become a family and begin a new life together. I promise to be a faithful husband/wife and father/mother, and I will be there for you and for the children always. No matter what circumstances life may bring, we will face them together as a family. I commit myself to all of your from this day forward.

Presentation of Gifts

Just as John and Jane have given each other rings as symbols of their love and commitment to one another, so too, they would like to present [each of] you with a gift as a symbol of their love and commitment to you. (Parents then present gifts such as pins or rings, a flower, or the Family Medallion, and give each child a hug and kiss.)

Add Children to the Pronouncement

John and Jane, because you have committed yourselves to each other and to these children, and because you have proclaimed your love for each other and for these children by the giving and receiving of rings, I now pronounce you husband and wife and family.

Family Sand Ceremony

(You will need small containers of sand for the bride, groom, and each child, plus a large container that all of the sand will be combined into.)

John and Jane, you have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings, and this covenant is a relationship pledge between two people who agree that they will commit themselves to one another throughout their lives. Today, your relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand. One, representing you, John, and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other representing you, Jane, and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be.

There is a child, Joey, who will share in this marriage. The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon him. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between all members of the family. Joey, please pick up your container of sand.

The separate containers of sand that each of you are holding represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the joining together of your individual selves into one family. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your family be.

Family Unity Candle

(You will need candles for the bride, groom, and each child, plus the unity candle.)

Option A: The Groom’s children jointly light the Groom’s candle and the Bride’s children jointly light the Bride’s candle. Then the Bride and Groom take their respective candles and jointly light the Unity Candle.

Option B: The Bride and Groom light the unity candle first with their individual candles, then take the Unity Candle and together light each child’s candle from the flame.

Option C: The Bride and Groom light each child’s candle with their individual candles, and together they all light the unity candle as a family.

The lighting of the family unity candle symbolizes the blending together of two homes into one home, two families into one family, (number of family members) hearts into one heart, and many colors into one rainbow. Just as you light your candles together, so may your love for each other light up your lives, both individually and together as a family.